Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Randomize