bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize