Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
