so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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