I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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