operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
