Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
