Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
