apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
