well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Randomize
