what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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