I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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