i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
