I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize