I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
