Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Say something about gay babies.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
