I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
