are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
whose parrot is this?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
