I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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