THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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