She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
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Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
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