I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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