i barfeds in our rink
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
