I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
