I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
