My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
operation have a gay friend backfired
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
