How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
