I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
