we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
