Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Randomize
