just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
