I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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