Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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