wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
