i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
This baby is an asshole
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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