theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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