I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
