This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
