we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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