I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
