My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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