y did u give ur computer a hand job?
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
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