Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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