White coat. Heels.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
