Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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