Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
