where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
