I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
