I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
