If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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