he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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