Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
