I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
