Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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