he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
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Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
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No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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