better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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