I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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