fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
