it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
