there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
