Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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