Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
