I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
