You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
