I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
