is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
