he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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