So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize